4: Only ONE Prize to Find

Quote: “The real prize can be found in the exploration of your direct experience.”

Written Version Below (relatively the same as the audio)

Welcome to day 4 of our 5-part series, exploring the practical basics of spirituality.

In this lesson, I see some of the most practical and transformative insights for guiding you back to a more grounded, loving, and playful version of yourself.

Please understand, in the journey of being human or the journey of spirituality, there is no final destination. What there is, is an ever-deepening devotion that is willing to see and honor what we discover as genuinely important.

I'm honored to support you on that journey, and my heart sings with enthusiasm for your willingness to explore your inner landscape, and discover a new depth of love, compassion, and freedom.

Part 4: Only ONE Prize to Find

While playing American baseball through my younger years, I would often hear…

“Keep your eye on the ball, kid. Keep your eye on the ball.”

It was great advice in retrospect, because I remember the great difficulty of being distracted while at home plate, waiting for the next pitch to hurl its way toward me. There were so many things to think about, so many worries, fears, and anxieties about ensuring I wouldn’t fail.

Interestingly enough, the more I thought about not wanting to fail, or the more I thought about wanting to look cool in front of others, the more of a disaster I would inevitably find myself in. I would end up closing my eyes with a swing and a prayer, just hoping that, magically, it would work out.

The invitation to forget about all that noise, and just keep my focus on “the ball,” really helped me become more present. The training or practice beforehand was designed to prepare my form and reflexes to react automatically, so I didn’t have to think about it. I could just relax and focus on the one thing that mattered in that moment, which was making contact with the ball. Whatever came next, I could deal with it as it came.

Of course, this speaks a bit to the nature of FOCUS; to see and acknowledge what’s really important, beyond all the things the mind wants to convince me are important.

In spirituality, combined with the nature of being human, there's the same propensity for us to become highly distracted by things or thoughts that, effectively, steal our focus.

One of the great analogies I always return to, that really help clarify the “real prize” in Life, is to examine the nature of any game being played. Whatever the experience we find ourselves in, in some way it presents itself as a game. Whether you’re playing Monopoly with friends, building a business, or hosting a dinner party, there are the same ‘game’ elements which ultimately serve the same function.

Furthermore, each experience, or each game, also has the same traps that make the game way more sufferable than it needs to be. Just like with playing baseball, if I’m thinking about what others think of me, or am terribly afraid of failing, I separate myself from the real and more true opportunity of playing the game.

5 Confusions about the Game

Here are 5 confusions that can turn any game into a sufferable experience and distract you from the real opportunity of the game you’re playing.

1. The outcome defines your self-worth; believing that winning or losing means YOU are a winner or loser.
2. Believing that the game is a competition between players, rather than a collaboration, which helps everyone find the real prize.
3. Believing that the “points” in the game actually mean something about you; rather than seeing that all the points are imaginary in nature.
4. Believing that the rules and parameters of the game are somehow limitations that restrict your personal sense of freedom while playing the game.
5. Believing that YOU are the character in the game is akin to believing that your identity or role within the game is defined by the game piece you're controlling.

If we look at this practically, we could say...

"When playing the game of Monopoly with a group of friends, the moment YOU believe the fake money is real money is the moment YOU are no longer fun to play with."

Do you see how this confusion plays out? If you think the 'points' (the fake money) are real, that the points actually mean something about you, then you immediately become afraid of losing your points.

This fearful confusion dramatically distorts the game and the real opportunity you have. This confusion within yourself turns the other players into enemies; people who stand between you and the all-important prize you're chasing.

All 5 of these confusions, if believed, make it impossible to connect with the real prize.

The Real Prize In Any Game

Remember, in some way, every experience is its own form of a game. Meaning, each experience carries an opportunity to point you toward a direction of discovery that ultimately supports you on your human journey and, in some way, fulfills your spiritual impulse.

The real prize can be found in the exploration of your direct experience. If you reflect back on all the games you’ve played, you can ask yourself this question:

“What has been the real point of it all?”

The answer you will inevitably find will, in some way, be similar to this:

“To immerse myself into the human experience, and to see more clearly what is real and true; because seeing what’s real and true improves the “real” quality of my human journey.”

To summarize that, we could say that the REAL PRIZE in any game is a combination of these 3 words:

• Learning, Growing, Playing

Here are 5 ways this discovery will transform your experience of playing any game:

1. The game is no longer about a future outcome, as if the prize is not here right now. This invites a profound presence where you are much more available to learn, grow, and play.
2. It's seen that the other players are looking for the same "real prize" you are, which means everyone is helping everyone else, and nobody is in anybody's way. It's a collaboration and not a competition.
3. The points in the game (money, status, or winning) are seen as parameters of the game that make the game, of finding the real prize, possible. The points in the game are way less important than the opportunity to learn, grow, and play.
4. The parameters in the game (rules and structure) are simply a necessary container that allows the "playing of the game" to be possible. Embracing the parameters, allowing them to be what they are, allows you to focus on the real prize and opportunity.
5. You recognize that your character in the game, the 'game piece' you are using to identify yourself, is not really you. So, whatever happens to your 'game piece,' you recognize that it's not really happening to you. This helps tremendously in seeing just how "not personal" things are when playing the game.
   
   

Your 3-Minute Exercise:

• Reflect on a past experience (game) you've played in your life, where it's obvious to you now that you confused the real prize and the game became much more serious (and resulted in more suffering) than it needed to be.
  • Can you see how it was just an innocent misunderstanding that assumed the prize was about winning, looking cool, or some other adorable misconception?
    
    
• Then, reflect on a current “serious and sufferable” experience/game you might be playing now, and ask yourself... “where might I be confused about the real opportunity and prize of this game?”
  • Without self-judgment, surrender the imaginary prizes and return to the real opportunity: exploring the chance to learn, grow, and play.
    

Up Next…

1. Ancient Invitation
2. Inevitable Misunderstanding
3. Many Roads to Wisdom
4. Only ONE Prize to Find
5. 👉 It’s Okay… to Be Human (Tomorrow)
   
   

Phew 😮‍💨 what a ride that one was.

Is it just me, or are these explorations profoundly helpful? 🙄😂

If you are finding genuine value, please don’t keep it to yourself. Help me spread this goodness, by sharing this (free) email series with other heart-based humans → https://go.heartbased.io/mnl-series/mnl-S01