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EP100: The Mechanism of DESIRE

What We Explored

We began with a light-hearted invitation: “Don’t take this too seriously. Hang out with me in the moment, marinate in the presence, and see what resonates.” This set the tone for a journey into how desire operates in our lives—not as something to conquer or control, but as something to deeply understand.

The Nature of Desire

Desire itself isn’t the issue; it’s our relationship to it that creates confusion. Here’s a key distinction:

  • Desire vs. Desired: I shared that “the sensation of desire—the energy of longing—is different from the mind’s image of what it thinks you desire.” For instance, you might feel pulled toward freedom, but the mind might translate that as needing a billion dollars or the ability to fly. Recognizing this difference is where clarity begins.

A Universal Longing

We also looked at how desire mirrors our deeper truth. At its core, every human desire stems from a longing to reconnect with:

  • Love
  • Wholeness
  • Freedom
  • A sense that “all is well”

Even in the nuances of sexual or financial desires, I invited you to notice how these seemingly different cravings reflect the same fundamental pull.

“There’s a longing in all of us,” I said, “to experience what we already are.”

Confusion and Distortion

When we forget that the essence of what we desire is already within us, things get tricky. This is where anxiety, fear, and even conflict enter.

  • “The confusion,” I explained, “is believing that what you desire is separate from you—outside of you. And then seeing people or circumstances as standing in the way.”
  • From here, desire can become distorted, leading to behaviors rooted in control, fear, or even harm.

A moment that stood out for many: “Imagine thinking you’re separate from what you want most, and others are withholding it from you. How does that frame your relationships with them?”

Seeing Desire Clearly

On the flip side, when we understand that “what we desire is already within us,” everything softens. There’s no need to chase, control, or fear. Instead, we can meet desire with playful curiosity, shifting from “I desperately need this” to “That could be fun to explore!”

I illustrated this with a simple phrase: “The difference between fearful seriousness and sincere playfulness is night and day.”

Why This Matters

Understanding the mechanism of desire isn’t just theoretical; it’s practical. When you stop seeing desire as a problem or something “out there” to obtain, you:

  • Experience less fear and anxiety
  • Begin to see others as allies, not obstacles
  • Tap into a more joyful, creative way of living

A Playful Question to Reflect On

Here’s something we pondered during the talk: “What if the desires that feel most compelling are actually invitations to experience new flavors of the truth you already are?”

Wrapping Up

The essence of this exploration was simple yet profound: Desire isn’t your enemy. It’s a beautifully designed mechanism inviting you to experience yourself more deeply.

For those who were there, I hope this recap brings the insights back to life. And for anyone who missed it, I hope it sparks curiosity to dive in when you can.

Thank you for your openness to explore this with me. It’s a privilege to navigate these topics together.

With love and curiosity,

Tiger 🐯