There's a deeply rooted fear-based distortion that manifests itself as a difficulty with promoting yourself or your offering (product or service). At first, you might argue with me on this, but I invite you to hold a space that's open to looking more deeply at it.
People believe that self-promotion and marketing are difficult because they see these things through a distorted lens. So, in a way, based on how you see self-promotion and marketing, it makes perfect sense why it's difficult for you. The underlying distortion that feeds the difficulty is rooted in the fear of being rejected. We fear the possibility of someone else looking down on what we do or what we offer, and… we fear the possibility of others seeing our 'perceived' failures.
This opens the proverbial can of worms when it comes to getting down to the real heart of the issue. We can make this obvious by asking a question.
- Why is it easier to share information or enthusiasm about someone else's offering than about your own?
Simple, if there was rejection, it would be about their offering (them) and not about you.
The point I'm making here is that we often create excuses for why we don't like to do certain things or claim that they are difficult when in reality, these are just stories we tell ourselves to avoid the fear of rejection. This can go so deep that we genuinely believe our excuses and never push beyond the fear underneath, even though there is so much more possibility for our lives beyond that fear.
Here are 3 ways to reframe the concept of promotion and marketing…
It’s worth noting, at least for me, these reframes work wonders for the heart-based solopreneur, who is genuinely looking to add value to the world. If you’re simply selling trinkets to make money, this might not be of any help.
Reframes:
-
From Authority to Adventurer (self-promotion)
It’s common to hear in the marketing education space, that you have to ‘prove’ you’re an authority in your niche or area of expertise. This is nonsense for the HeartBased Solopreneur; and maybe in countless other areas. If you have to prove you are something, then you don’t actually believe you are that something. This results in numerous people pretending to be and claiming to be an authority, and then looking to be that authority in someone else’s life. Sure, this is an optional route; you’re totally free to walk that road.
Here’s my suggestion though… be an adventurer and share your adventure with others. This is so much more fun than trying to convince people you’re an authority or an expert.
One of the great hallmarks of a HeartBased Solopreneur is their deep appreciation for the human journey, and this journey is an adventure of discovery. The value that you have to offer others is a value that was birthed from this adventure; your journey of discovery. The value you share, isn’t “THE ANSWER,” in an authoritative way. Rather, is an optional adventure to go on. The Good News Is… you're an adventure guide for that particular journey, for other people who resonate or feel called to travel that path.
-
From Stealing Attention to Authentic Human Connection (marketing)
The intent of a lot of marketing is trying to steal people’s attention. I use that word intentionally, “steal,” instead of “capture,” because, I, personally, find 90% of the marketing I see as disingenuous. Rather than genuine attempts to connect with people and add value to their lives, what I see are manipulative tactics that feed on human psychology (to each their own, though, it’s all allowed). It seems, the primary agenda is more about maximizing investors’ returns, rather than doing something beautiful and awesome in the world.
Maybe is just pointing toward the HeartBased.io way of doing things, which is a bit different. It's worth noting that I am only sharing my perspective on these things, and explaining how I go about it, rather than feeling like I have to follow the crowd.
Let’s face it, manipulating people is easier than connecting with people; in the short term. If you’re going to connect authentically with other human beings, you can only do that with… your authenticity. That’s a barrier for many people, one they’re not willing to cross. With being authentic, there’s a gigantic risk of being rejected. So, to avoid being rejected, we avoid authenticity, which also avoids authentic human connection. If you’re just trying to sell widgets, you may not need authenticity. However, if you’re looking to thrive as a HeartBased Solopreneur, the genuine human connection will be the foundation of what you offer.
-
Paint for the Sake of Painting (fear of rejection)
Part of what makes it possible to truly thrive as a HeartBased Solopreneur, is that you give people back to themselves so that you can do what you are here to do: thrive and embrace your journey.
Returning to the fear-based distortion, the fear of rejection, this fear is completely irrational and is only a product of conditioning. The assumption is that if someone does not like your offering, then it means something about you. The follow-up insanity is that we then hide, withhold, or minimize our offering to ensure that it is liked by more people so that we are liked by more people.
It's important to understand that when someone doesn't like your offering, it only means something about you if you say it does. For instance, if you paint a picture and someone doesn't like it, their dislike only reflects their preferences about what they “think” they see. What they see is their interpretation of your painting. The deeper and more relevant question is: Did you enjoy the process of painting?
What you offer is your painting. Some people will like it and some will not. This is the great diversity within humanity, and it's an important part of being human. Everyone is free to like or dislike something, and it has nothing to do with you.
If we can move past taking it personally, then we have the opportunity to receive feedback that helps us improve our painting so that it resonates more deeply with others. However, as you do this, it will only resonate more deeply with your ideal customer, which means it will also be more disliked by a certain segment of society.
Messaging
One aspect of this whole thing, self-promotion, and marketing, that is so often missed, is the value and importance of “messaging.” This is the ability to communicate your offering in a clear and concise way, that speaks directly to the type of person you're looking to support. This messaging is very difficult to get a handle on if you’re trying to please everyone, rather than just focusing on the real heart of the value you can provide.
Please log in or register to post a comment