There is often a fear that distorts how we view “showing up” for clients. However, this fear can be transformed into a loving and joyful opportunity. The fear stems from concerns about inadequacy, rejection, and the ability to provide satisfactory service.
For myself, these fears diminished or vanished over time, because of 3 important points of discovery…
- Years of Value Validation
- A Life of Devotional Service
- HeartBased Connections
Years of Value Validation
How do you know that your offering has value? Well, it’s been tested, and you receive feedback that expresses real life human satisfaction. What’s important to focus on, is both your joy in offering the service and the joy that people receive. Naturally, over time, your offering becomes more valuable through a focused refinement process.
If you're just starting out, it may take some time to establish yourself. It's essential to honor this process rather than rushing to get paid, which will only lead to disappointment and cause you to miss the real opportunity.
HeartBased Validation is to truly be open to seeing the value you can provide. This openness also invites you to see just how important the work is you’re doing and the opportunity you have. This validation can become a fuel that propels you forward.
A Life of Devotional Service
There's a bit of magic that occurs when you realize that you're here on this earth to serve others, in the most playful and impactful way possible. This awareness positions you to engage the world, people, and clients in a deeply supportive manner. In contrast, some people may operate from a fear of not being good enough, which results in an energy that seeks to take advantage of others.
Remember, the HeartBased way isn’t just about what you do or how you do it. It's about the energy you bring to what you do. When you deeply recognize that your life is an opportunity to engage in joyful service and add genuine value to people's lives, you bring an entirely different energy to how you relate to people.
This reminds me of a conversation I had during a Zoom sales call with a potential client. She asked me, with an adorable concern, “can you promise me that this is going to work?”
I paused, with a smile, and I gently said… “No, I cannot promise you that life will work out how you want it to. However, what I see is that we have the opportunity to go on a beautiful journey together. What I can promise, is that we will discover, together, some beautiful things that bring more love, compassion, and freedom into your life.”
How can I promise that? Because of 2 things…
- Market Validation. I have too much confirmation in my ability to help people see beyond their fears and struggles and to help them connect with more love, compassion, and freedom.
- She was my ideal client. As I looked into her eyes and explored her pain and self-imposed limitations, I realized that she was the same as the many people I've helped before; she was the specific type of person I am here to serve.
She promptly sent me the required funds to begin her journey with me and became a repeat client, totaling about $10,000 to date.
I am not here to help just anyone and everyone. I am here to solve a very specific problem for a particular type of person. This approach significantly reduces my uncertainty about meeting expectations, as I have confidence in my ability to solve this one problem.
This is my “Devotional Service.” It means being profoundly clear about the value I have to offer, and executing on that value alone. Most people don’t have a ‘devotional’ service; instead, they make scattered attempts to ‘get something’ from others. Underneath this attempt lies a lack of confidence about actually delivering value. This ‘lack of confidence’ energy will be communicated energetically, and your prospects and clients will be relatively repelled by it. This repulsion will create their own blocks from moving forward with you.
HeartBased Connections
Relationships are widely misunderstood in both life and business. The common assumption is that relationships exist for you to get what you want, whether it be love, approval, money, or anything else that seems to be lacking in your life. However, this is a dramatic perversion of the nature of relationships and completely misses the real opportunity for our human experience.
There is Heart-Based Relating, and then there is Lack-Based relating.
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Lack-Based Relationships
Due to the fundamental assumption of inadequacy, we seek to fill the gap by “getting what we want.” We often believe that “what we want” is in the hands of others, leading to a fear that we may not obtain it. This fear creates an agitation that limits, or even completely cuts off, our ability to truly connect with other human beings.
Please be aware that this is critically important, as it will affect all your relationships. If you relate to other people with a fear of not getting what you want from them, you will subconsciously or consciously try to manipulate them into giving up their sovereignty. This will always end poorly for everyone involved.
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HeartBased Relationships
As we see ourselves more clearly, beyond the fearful conditioning of the mind and innocent misunderstandings, we recognize that we are not lacking anything. Life is not about “getting something,” as that would imply we are incomplete or missing something. If we are already whole and complete, then what is the point of relationships? The point is to share our wholeness with others. We are not here to “get,” but to give.
We are here to… discover something beautiful on the inside of what we are, and then share that beauty with others.
We can only discover the beauty within ourselves through the reflections provided by the nature of relationship. Similarly, we can only share this beauty by allowing it to flow through us, which requires having relationships with others for it to flow into.
This approach does not seek to take from others, but rather to find opportunities to share with them. The simple transformation of this mindset can dramatically alter how you show up in your personal and business relationships. Instead of focusing on relationship tactics and strategies, simply show up authentically with a willingness to serve and share what you find beautiful about life and the human journey.
Managing client expectations and relationships is an ongoing process of discovery. I invite you to approach it with a playful mindset, with the ultimate goal of building your ability to connect authentically and be in a state of devotional service. By deeply honoring the other person, you will certainly find your way.
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